Found: Saltine-type crackers!

These 'Crackers salés' from Leader Price are by far the closest relative to a Saltine I've seen in a long time. They come sealed in 20 snack-size packs for a very reasonable 1.19 euros.

Other honorable mentions worth trying from Leader Price:

- Sauce Barbecue

- Ramen-type noodles

- Microwave popcorn

- Bacon (tranche de poitrine fumée)

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